Johnny couldn't wait any longer, it had to come and it had to come fast "Miss, I need to go to the toilet" he said "Why?" she replied "Because I'm busting for a shit Miss and if I dont go we could have a problem with a huge turd festering in you classroom" "Okay if you must" said Miss.

So off Johnny run down the corridor holding his arse cheeks in to prevent a shit slick trail down the corridor, he made it - just and locked himself in the cubicle and let rip. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" clasped Johnny "that was some shit". Indeed it was, it was a big one, so big in fact that it got stuck round the U-Bend.

As Johnny wiped his arse he took a look at his masterpiece, "wow, thats one to be proud of" he thought, "I'm going to name you Turtle" he said happily. And Johnny flushed the chain .....

**At this point of the story we decided to follow the life of Johnny's turd 'Turtle' rather than Johnny in class doing Sex Education with Miss**

"whoooohoooooohoooooooheeeeeeeeeeeeeee" screamed Turtle has he plummeted through the pipes of Aching Dale School. One can only describe the excitement Turtle must have been going through skimming through the pipes, it must've been like going down the water flumes down at your local waterpark. Eventually Turtle landed in a waft of shit mixed in with cartons of Ribena, empty McDonalds bags and even a left shoe (how the fuck did that get there ?!?!?!). When he arrived it only took moments for Turtle to realise he was not alone, he met Bomber, Tommy and Tina Turds and felt at home almost immediately.

Meanwhile back in class Johnny's perving over Miss in Sex Education came to an abrubt halt when he realised his last job remained unfinished, he needed to go again, "Miss I need to go again" said a desperate Johnny "but Johnny, this is the second time in just 5 minutes" said an angry Miss "I know but I promise this will be the last time" said an ever desperate Johnny. So off he ran again, back on the pan and completed the job he so rudely forgot to finish 5 minutes previous. This one was only half the size of Turtle but Johnny was just pleased to clear it out, he just wanted to get back to class as Miss had undone her top button on her blouse (it was a hot summers day). Johnny's second turd was a negelected turd, not only did Johnny forget to name this one but he also forgot to flush him, for 3 solid hours the nameless turd was lingering around like a bad smell until the School Cleaner flushed him down.

Back down the Sewage, Turtle was adapting to his new life with his new friends, suddenly a rumble occurred, Turtle asked what this was all about, "Its a new arrival" said Tina "Arrival?" said a confused Turtle "yes, a new turd is about to arrive and it looks as if its coming from where you came from". With a gigantic whooosh and blow a new turd arrived, "Hello" said Bomber "whats your name then?" "I dont have one" said a very upset nameless turd "You dont have one" repeated Tommy "hahahahahahaha, lets all laugh at the nameless turd". Turtle realised that he and the nameless turd were actually related, they looked so alike and so stuck up for his newly found brother. "Hey, stop that you evil bastards, its not his fault is it?", "fine" said Tina "hang out with a nameless turd, see if we care, dont come running to us when the evil Turbaned Turd comes after you both", "Who the fuck is the Turbaned Turd?" said a frightened Turtle "he is the evil bastard, not us and when he finds you thats it" said Tommy. "Oh fuck!" said Turtle looking at his stinky brother ..............

I assume there is more?

WTF is all that about??

Or is this another one of those randomness contests??

I dont do random! And I definately dont do contests!

There would've been more but I got lost and confused and then realised there was actually no ending to this story !

So finish the story. What happens to Tommy and his little bro??

Do they escape the clutches of the Turbaned Turd??

Is Bomber their illegitimate half brother?

So many questions, so few answers - I won't be able to work unless you finish the story........

2 things Cream

1. How can you leave a story there? You can't build peoples hopes up with all that shit and then just drop them!

and 2. Next time you tell me you are too busy at work to reply to my SMSs I'm gonna remind you of this very moment. Arse boy.

Mr Happy was rite, there is a lot of random shit on this board.

agreed

Kev, you really worry me sometimes ..

well i think it is funny...BUT wher is the ending dammit

I'm sorry !

I'm not a member of the big bad random brigade!

And I never will be !

And neither do I ever want to be !

u dont have to be a member, just write a god damn ending!!

In reply to:

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Mr Happy was rite,

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fuk me?!? theres a 1st time 4 everything

wonders will never cease

OMG.....creamy you HAVE to finish the story!

There will be no contiunation !