Warning, some of these are pretty sick!
And they are not my beliefs

> >
> >
> > Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?
> > A: Not being retarded
> >
> > Q: What's blue and f*cks old people?
> > A: Hypothermia
> >
> > Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the
> > battered wives' shelter?
> > A: The dishes if she knows what's good for her
> > >
> > Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
> > A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
> > >
> > Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
> > A: Something a woman does while a guy is f*cking her.
> > >
> > Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common?
> > A: They don't f*cking listen.
> > >
> > Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
> > A: G*n*rrhoea
> > >
> > Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
> > A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating
> > c*nt
> > once in a while too.
> > >
> > Q: How can you tell a macho woman?
> > A. She rolls her own tamp*ns.
> > >
> > Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
> > A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.
> > >
> > Q. What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson?
> > A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13
> > years old.
> > >
> > Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
> > A. Marry it.
> > >
> > Q. What do you get when you cross two black people?
> > A. Your ass kicked.
> > >
> > Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
> > A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
> > >
> > Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
> > A. Because women don't get bl*w j*bs while they're driving.
> > >
> > Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & s*men?
> > A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty
> > miles
> > an hour.
> > >
> > Q. Why do women call it PMT?
> > A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
> > >
> > Q. What's a mixed feeling?
> > A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new
> > car.
> > >
> > Q. What's the height of conceit?
> > A. Having an org*sm and calling out your own name.
> > >
> > Q. What's the definition of macho?
> > A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
> > >
> > Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
> > A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
> > >
> > Q. What's the difference between oral s*x & an*l s*x?
> > A. Oral s*x makes your day, an*l s*x makes your hole weak.
> > >
> > Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian bl*wj*b?
> > A. You know she'll swallow.
> > >
> > Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and s*x education on the
> > same day in Iraq?
> > A. They don't want to wear out the camel.
> > >
> > Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
> > A. A Catholic wife has real org*sms and fake jewelery.
> > >
> > Q. What's thedifference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
> > A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
> > >
> > Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is
> > bedtime?
> > A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
> > >
> > Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the
> > house?
> > A. Look inside your pants; if you have a pen*s, it's not time.
> > >
> > Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe s*x?
> > A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.
> > >
> > Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
> > A. Because it's worth it.

Absoloutly fookin brilliant some clasics in there mate keep em coming.
Respec

Nice....

im bumping these cos theyre funny as fuck

some classics in there!

Quote:

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> > Q. What's the height of conceit?
> > A. Having an org*sm and calling out your own name.
> > >

---

Moo

I know the site these came off, will find it

haha!!

I feel bad for laughing at some tho'!

Never been in stitches this much in ages!!!!